The Shitty World of Dating Apps
I call the people who ghost each other after meeting up, flirting, and even moving into the next “stage” and then SUDDENLY disappearing as the CASPERS.
Casper’s are really problematic in the modern dating world. But to be honest, I’ve been a Casper. I am certainly guilty of it when I talk to someone, meet up with them, and find that they are less interesting than I thought. More so, they didn’t measure up to my “ideal” image of a dating candidate. So I’d rather just disappear so I don’t have to deal with them anymore.
But when the situation is turned around and I become the one who is ghosted, oh boy do I get very mad and bitter about the whole dating world. But could it be my own problem? Do other people experience the same shit that I do?
Aziz Ansari’s book “The Modern Romance” once stated that our parents as well as many generations ago, people met their soulmates within a 5-mile radius. I do envy that my parents can experience the simplicity of dating back in the days. They didn’t have much choice, but with the limited choices they had, they were able to come together and forge a life together. My parents also came from the same town; hence the 5-mile radius really did manifest on my parents.
But today, given the world of technology and multiple dating app platforms, our choices are infinite. It’s much harder to find love these days, especially when we cannot be content with the people we are seeing. Quite sad? I think so. It creates a sense of insecurity and instability. In other words, what is CONSTANT in our lives now are these feelings of insecurities. In addition to that, we are given so many choices. These choices are endless. Even when I see someone with potential, I often think to myself that there is always someone else with more potential. Bad cycle.
It’s pretty shitty to even think that the person we are dating right now might be simultaneously talking to multiple people at the moment. Feeling imbalanced? Of course! This makes me, the passive aggressive type, to want to do the same. Vicious cycle? Certainly so. But that’s the truth. Even I do the same, talking to multiple people at the same time to the point where I forget what I talked about. What can we do in this world of modern dating?
Someone help me out here, it’s pretty much driving me crazy. Yet, at the silent 1 AM nights, I am still frantically scrolling through pictures, knowing that there is probably no end to this. Is this the curse of modern day romance? If so, what can we do about it?
I don’t think there is a simple answer. The only slight satisfaction I get from this post is hoping to get a response saying: Me too — that we are not alone in this fucking tarpit. I think this is one part of the social-media-saturated world that we need to really reflect on. Is it making our lives better, or are we becoming more lonely?
